Day 312, Disconnect

~ Disconnect ~

Brief moments noticed

Emotions and thoughts emerge

Senses faltering.

KKF

Had a big gap recently while observing life and also experiencing some of it myself. the following images are from some brain imaging that I had recently. the reason was for a period of time I suddenly experienced Vertigo, at least in the beginning what I thought and guessed it was. One day while rising from bed my world kept falling for me it was to the left, I would try to move and then found myself crashing to the floor, hitting the floor and knowing I was then stationary yet I kept falling internally to the left. An odd feeling to say the least. I layed back in the bed for a second using whatever I could to try and manage this task as I was alone. I closed my eyes as I felt I was just becoming more dizzy. As my head hit the pillow, I knew the pillow and the mass of the bed were there yet I was still falling backwards into nothingness, only a feeling of unease. I slept for another hour hoping ok maybe I need to wait. 

Once I woke I was finally able to move a little better but I kept falling or wanting to lean and go to the left. I tried to force the issue as well as I could supporting myself on what I could to prevent this, ie furniture, crutch , umbrella later etc. I made an appointment with the doctor a few days later, unsure of exactly how it would go with the pandemic etc. I managed to get there as I stated earlier by supporting myself and just trying to walk as normal as possible. Lucky for me it was raining the day of the appointment so my long umbrella came in handy. Once at the doctor I explained all the symptoms nd what I researched myself thinking it to be, he concurred and off to the MRI scan a couple days later I went. I have to admit I didn’t fear to much , I’m not sure why I know some of the family history, I know for example I’m one of those people that the light can instantaneously turn off, Aneurism etc. This happed to my father, so I’m aware it can also happen for me, shared genetics and dispositions to some health challenges. 

Anyhow since I had this procedure I of course wanted to see myself from a diff perspective and as the patient you have the right to these images so of course I did :-), might come in handy for some creative inspiration later. Also everything came back fine the doctor said there’s nothing they could see so I guess all is well. for now no symptoms and no relapse’s. It was not enjoyable in the least but it does give you new perspectives and things to consider. 

These are but a few of the images as I received them all, its odd but I think its so beautiful and enlightening looking from these perspectives.

Todays poem was inspired by this disconnection I felt from the self. Something I think that happens to many of us in smaller fashions through our days, for example over a cup of tea or coffee, we become lost in a moment. Especially with all taking place in the world this brief moment can become a a small internal oasis.

I think the vertigo I had can fall into two categories, but I’m by no means an expert in the slightest. Several resources but here is one of those I found during my investigation. 

Ref site (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23042061/)

(2) Attacks of vestibular migraine may last anywhere from minutes to days. Most patients have a previous history of migraine headaches, and many experience migraine symptoms during the attack.  

(4) Vestibular paroxysmia is caused by vascular compression of the eighth cranial nerve. It manifests itself with brief attacks of vertigo that recur many times per day, sometimes with concomitant cochlear symptoms.  

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