~ Sprout ~
Tendrils venturing beyond
Exposed and wanting.
Venturing out of the bubble, I found myself in the green house lovingly caring for plants that know nothing of the connection they have to rooting me in reality and taking my mind away from the self. Focusing on their care out of responsibility that I placed these seeds in the soil.
Of course my mind always draws parallels between things searching grasping and desiring to find the links. I’m not great at keeping them, this I know this I accept and when I can I force myself to be more than what I am capable of at a given time. I know the crash will come eventually and I try in vain to find ways to stop it and not fall completely into it. But I fail time and time again. Even with the knowledge that some of the moving parts are out of my control. Yet in our moments of uncertainty we beat ourselves the most brutally. What is that where does that self flagellation come from?
Today I entered the greenhouse armed with a thermos of water, my portable art supplies, my phone, and the idea that I will water the plants first, I will tend to what needs to be tended. Afterwards sit down and just enjoy some silence, and then try sketching something anything. Give life to the blank arc staring in my direction starving for pencil to paper. I stared at all the little sprouts and just let the day flow. This is after all what life, and the world will continue to do in any and all circumstances whether we observe it or not. So taking a moment to breath and just enjoy the immediate moment I find myself in. Enjoy the fact that someone else is there that smiles at me and attempts constantly to wake me from my void of self. While battling their own issues as well. Appreciate digital connections I have made and that provide levity for me and the ability to focus on others. Extending tendrils out into this world, exposed nerves intercepting anything and everything, entangling with others, forming a chaotic network of existence and what it is today.