~ Orchideae ~
Fleshed out in gentlest manners
Vibrancy burst forth.
A late night around 4am I finally thought ahh maybe bed. As I went to the bathroom brushed my teeth and did the meaningful things one does to function. I returned to the house went upstairs and then sat in my chair at my desk looking at the walls. Feeling the quiet outside as most everything would be asleep now. It’s calm its serene. I felt suddenly overwhelmed and began crying, the dam had broken. And my meager fingers could not fill the holes where the water would flow. I dried my tears after what seemed like forever and turned my attention to a blank arc, picked up my tools and sketched.
A little before 0600 the sketching was finished I laid some color and then, well then my partner woke at around that time for the common early morning clock work nature call of urinating. Or I like to say killing the lawn, watering the grass whatever you like. I looked into his bloodshot sunken eyes and thought, I suppose I should sleep a little I can finish tomorrow. He reached out his hand to pull me up and out of my creative zombie like mode. I laid down but my mind didn’t truly turn off until the Layers upon layers of music I play in my ears lulled me to sleep. The only thought on my mind was, What the hell am I doing? Then darkness as my mind switched off and the sandman held me tightly so that I would not rise again. Falling into a deep slumber curious what the mind would find.
This Haiku sums up human connection for me, what most would yearn for and hope to experience in the life they have. Finding oneself loving oneself and being able to then fully connect with and love another. The bane of my existence, or maybe my hidden muse that I only now try to accept.