~ Distances ~
Walking the distance
Loosing myself in each step
Yet forward I march.
Distance of the mind and the numerous journeys we take and physical distances. Today was beautiful the weather calm and inviting, my body called to me, let’s move! I had some good news from the breast exam and everything is ok no issues. So that worry averted and it’s rather simple actually the ingredients for today. I woke and after washing up I sat and started sketching some things but couldn’t concentrate. So I put on some music had the urge to dance and just move move move. And leave the safety of my little creative cave.
Trying that thing where you feel one way but you program yourself to act in another. It’s like when you cant move you can’t be bothered and for some reason you try to laugh you force the first one and the ones after. Soon however your actually laughing and smiling your laughing at yourself, at the situation, at life, at your face, you just laugh. Of course its nice if your alone. Because others will look not understanding the full gamut as to why your laughing or what your even laughing about. But it diminishes not in the least the feeling of joy that will erupt within from this moment that spark. Ok time to walk, laugh, reflect, explore and stop writing because I just felt a pang of sadness.
I can walk, for one I still remember the time in the hospital when my legs were not gaining their feeling back and I thought what if I never walk again. I’m suddenly sad because I can walk and the most I fear along the path is a dog not chained properly, or maybe a young moose in aggro mode. a wavering car, a snake slithering along the way. But I don’t have to worry about fucking mines from war zones, or random bullets from fighting factions I hate this because most people are respectful, most want to just live and provide for their families and be part of a society that functions safely for all. Sometimes I want to stop my mind, but then I wouldn’t be me and I wouldn’t have the capacity to forgive and understand others pain if I did or have the energy to help wherever I can. I’m spiraling so time to walk and recharge, when depleted our minds can spiral in fortunate and unfortunate ways at times.