Dancing in shadows.
Absorbed within the moment.
Beguiled in the light.
Just finished work today another long and challenging day. Once outside I feel in love with the air and the sun and the sea. All the ingredients I need to find that balance and just breath and say your lucky to be tired after work and not angry or sad. Lucky to appreciate the molecules of air and moisture filling my lungs and body. I carried that energy home as well thinking feed the cats, wash some laundry, water the plants, quality time with the partner, feed the chickens. Work is never done, there’s always something. I think I also wanted to cry because you want to share this happiness with others you want there not to be sadness while your feeling guilty feeling a sense of fulfillment. Knowing I did my job well, to the best of my abilities and people seemed happy. They enjoyed the guided tour, the graphic designing was on point, and you took care of all you set out to do. I think my new goals is to try and gain a business sense when it comes to my creative exploits. But for the life of me, this sense eludes me. My joy with creating (when I put my butt in the studio) has always been seeing the faces of someone else and their connection. Not how much is this worth, or when they want to purchase in still stuck in stupid not able to think business. I experience their emotion or hear a debate about my creation, and I feel like I’ve done something worthwhile.
It’s all just luck, and some attempts at planning we all have at some point maybe. I’m currently finding myself but still keeping in mind others and all lives, because it can all be so different under different circumstances. My empathy can crush me at times, but it also serves as my sword and shield. Today and many days I just do what I can to respect others in a logical way. And help where I can and enjoy them for who they are and how they present.
Lol the spectrum of life its like a kaleidoscope and sometimes you can go a little mad trying to perceive and understand every perspective. Sometimes making sense other times not. That’s when I just implode and release like a Phoenix, to be reborn, and I hope a little wiser.